Don’t Stop, Girlypop! PC review — Ironically stops way too soon

To co-opt an oft-memed phrase, if I had 50 pence for every time a super fun, modern movement shooter had nothing but a short campaign, I’d have a quid, which isn’t much, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice. Don’t Stop, Girlypop!‘s gameplay and aesthetic are as quirky and inviting as its title, with a truly unique look and some ingratiating mechanics that live up to its name. But it ends so quickly and has so little beyond its campaign that it appears its devs didn’t take any notes from Metal Eden shooting itself in the foot by doing the same thing. Ah, well, maybe the next dev will be paying attention.

Don’t Stop, Girlypop! has players take control of Imber, a freedom fighter going against an evil corporation, who is constantly pressed onward by a live-action actor talking to her from her bedazzled flip-phone. It’s so early 00’s that I can almost see the frosted tips. The game’s presentation has a similar level of Millennial glam to it, although this can wear a bit thin as the screen will oftentimes be a monotonous shade of pink covered in sparkles and hearts, as if a My Little Pony exploded and decorated each arena with its innards. What, too much?

The game has a very novel main focus: you lose speed the instant you stop moving, so you’ll need to constantly maintain momentum or suffer the consequences. Not just that, but your damage and healing capabilities similarly increase the faster you’re going, so it pays dividends to make sure to keep this topped up at all times. Doing so is fairly simple, albeit a tad confusing. The game introduces a technique where you jump, stomp, jump again, and then dash forward. Doing so gives you a burst of speed, with your speed gauge maxing out at a 15x multiplier.

I’m not sure why this would work, but work it does, therefore, you must use it. You can also use a special, wonky finisher on enemies that fills your speed up too. Imber movies surprisingly slowly without the maximum speed multiplier, so that’s another reason to never stop moving. Even at the maximum, you still don’t move that fast, but the speed itself will feel comfortable to most shooter fans. The game is divided into five episodes with five levels each (with a tutorial level as well) that you’ll be ranked on according to how much of the level you spent at max speed, how many secrets you’ve found, and your time. Secrets need to be hunted down and aren’t usually super easy to find, which is directly at odds with a game that clearly wants you to go as fast as you can.

These levels are mostly quite short. I added up how long each level took me, and the result was 224 minutes, which is under four hours. During that time, you’ll travel to multiple biomes (such as glitzy buildings and a cave area) and take on some bosses as well. The level design is incredibly linear (as a game about constantly running forward should be), and the levels can all be beaten within a few minutes for the most part. You’ll typically run forward while doing some platforming before getting locked into an area that will only open once you defeat all of the enemies. On occasion, you’ll need to put keys on pedestals to open doors, too.

There’s solid enemy variety here, from enemies that fly around to an annoying large foe that hides behind a shield. The weapons are also quirky and fun to use. The first one you get is a magic wand that allows you to grab and throw physics items at enemies, such as boxes or barrels. I mostly stopped using this one once I got the game’s shotgun (which annoyingly only lets you shoot thrice before needing a lengthy reload,) but I discovered later on that the magic wand is actually one of the most powerful weapons in the game (plus it requires zero reloading.) Others include a machine gun, stake sniper rifle, and rocket launcher.

There are also some gimmicks in the levels here and there. One level requires you to kill enemies at a steady pace so that you can keep a bomb program jammed into a Tamagotchi intact. Stop killing, and it explodes early. One level becomes a rhythm shooter akin to Bullets Per Minute, where you don’t do damage if you don’t shoot on the beat. If you’re deaf or hard of hearing, it’s going to be somewhat annoying to beat this level, but it’s simple enough that you can also just mash your way through it without too much trouble anyway, which I was thankful for since I can’t do music.

Don’t Stop, Girlypop!‘s levels mostly flow well, although there are some hiccups here and there. There’s a fair amount of platforming and the signposting for these isn’t always clear, so I’d occasionally end up confused about where I was supposed to go, despite the fact that there are constant wind lines showing you the path forward. The third episode also has some really odd sections that want you to stop and enter codes to open doors, which don’t fit at all in a game about moving continuously. From time to time, you’ll also find echoes that function akin to audio logs, which also want you to stop and listen to them, increasing your level time considerably. For a game with “don’t stop” in its name, it sure does ask you to stop more than it should.

The game does play very well, and it’s pretty exciting to constantly weave around and shoot your enemies, even if it can be tough to hit them at times without slowing down. It scratches a similar itch to Doom Eternal in that way. However, it can be quite difficult to know where the final enemy that needs dispatching might be, as the UI is woefully inadequate in regard to highlighting them. It often has a red blip that doesn’t really give their position away, so I’d waste precious moments (and my speed multiplier) looking around the room, trying to stumble upon the one remaining foe.

There are a few boss battles in Don’t Stop, Girlypop!, but a couple of them were far from my favourite parts of the game. The final boss battle, in particular, has some rather poor signposting, so I spent minutes aimlessly jumping around the arena, completely unsure of what I was supposed to do.

And then the game was over. I was hoping some sort of survival mode or missions would unlock, anything that would let me keep fighting, but the only option is to replay missions to hunt for secrets or better ranks. You can’t replay old missions with the weapons you’ve unlocked later either, much to my chagrin.

Don’t Stop, Girlypop! is mostly enjoyable while it lasts, despite some questionable decisions, but it’s so short and so completely lacking in extra content that it’s a bit harder to recommend than it would have been with a bit more glitz to go with the glamour. The game successfully builds up entertaining game mechanics, though, and will probably put a smile on your face if you enjoy these sorts of things.

Check out our previous review:

MIO: Memories in Orbit PC review — I hope you suffer |